KC

Kansas City Missouri.  What's going on here?   Is there something I am missing?  My family and I went there for a Ben Harper concert this past weekend.   It took place at Crossroads Grinder.  For me, this was a terrible venue, but it was an excellent concert.  Ben Harper and his warm-up group, the Revolution were superb.  Ben Harper, Ben Harper, Ben Harper...what can I say, except Genius.

Kansas City, on the other hand, appears to be a big plantation city.  The downtown is completely devoid of black folk.  I felt lonely.  I am sixty-six years old and I felt lonely for my people in Kansas City Missouri.  I am shocked at the way downtown KC has restructured itself to be urban white.  The Negroes who work in the city are slow moving and placid.  I stayed at the Hyatt Regency.  They screwed up my room reservations.  I was pissed, but I conformed.  The guests and staff were nice enough. 

When my family and I visited Crown Center, we saw a miniscule of black sisters and brothers.  I was frankly, appalled.  The shopkeepers were mostly okay, even though my family and I were followed by security when we shopped in the Crayola store.  The sales people there were nervous and seemed uncertain when I wanted to exchange a pack of crayons for a larger more expensive pack of crayons.  My granddaughter who is almost two,  still needs the jumbo size of crayon.  I found a sixteen count crayon in jumbo and skylight colors.  Boy was I excited.  I have never landed upon this many jumbo crayons and in a great colors, too.  I called out to my husband to wait, but he had already checked out.  I hurried to the checkout counter and pulled out my money to purchase the sixteen count crayons.  My husband, who is a cheapskate by nature, asked the saleslady if he could exchange the regular eight pack that he had just purchased, along with some very nice coloring and activity books.  The saleslady appeared confused and turned to ask, who I guessed was her supervisor.  It was then that I noticed the security guard, looking fierce and ready to draw what I then saw was his gun.  I could have cried. I told the dumb clerk that it was okay and that I would pay for the new found crayons separately.  It was no need to void a ticket and retrace the transaction.  The smugly stupid supervisor smiled and the guard relaxed.  All of us smiled and somehow as if in a conspiracy, we made my thrifty husband the fool.  I wanted to protest, but could not muster up the strength.  After all, I was on a weekend vacation.  I wanted a time-out too.  America, I am so tired of you.  I am so embarrassed too.  I turned immediately into a complacent slave. I did not want to cause trouble.  I'll go to my grave regretting this. 

Kansas City Missouri did this to me, again. Why?  Why are there no black people in downtown Kansas City Missouri?   Why did Crossroads want to check my purse twice?  Why were we not told to go to another  line to enter the concert after it was determined that we had all the right credentials?   The white folk just ahead of us were told.  We evidently were invisible.  How insulting! Why was I, a sixty-six year old black lady, asked to provide identification showing proof of drinking age? Things are strange in Kansas City Missouri.  The black folk have given up on their city.  They even walk and act like it.  They do walk and act slowly.  They might as well shuffle.

Obsolete

Many people my age have automatically become out of date.  Most everyone uses at least one form of modern technology, if no more than a cell phone, but many seniors are still getting left behind.  Many look and sound too proud as they say, " I don't even know how to turn it on", when asked about their knowledge of, or use of the computer.  I am sixty-six years old and am so grateful that I have tried my best to keep  up with computer dynamics.  I have not yet mastered many other forms of technological communication devices or games, but I have strived to maintain at least a working knowledge of the computer as it has advanced through the ages.  I am no great technician, but I at least know where to get computer help.  I know at least enough to ask the right questions and give the correct answers when asked something vital to proper repair.  Gifted technicians ease this information from those of us who are trying our best to work with them.

I had such a wonderful experience this past weekend with AT&T technical help.  I thought I'd write to other old geezers like me who don't think that computer literacy is important.  It is.  Watch how it is creeping up (knocking the heck out of ) on us.  Almost every transaction we make asks for an e-mail address.  If we can't provide one, we are usually directed to a very circuitous route which leaves us far more frustrated than pleased.  We cannot get left behind.  Those of us who are still pretty much in our right minds have to continue learning everything we can, daily, especially for the sake of our financial obligations.  We have to become and stay computer literate.

Love,
Eva

Nothing you can do

Sometimes, no matter what you do, life is hard.  These past few weeks have been almost hellish.  Nothing I do turns out right.  There have been too many things that have been totally out of my control.  What the heck?  Oh well, this too shall pass.

The weather is not even cooperating.

Believe it or not, I just almost lost this post.  I had to log out, then in, then accidentally found a tab that allowed me access to this draft.  Wow!  I'm going to bed with the eternal hope that tomorrow will be so much better.  I'd settle for just a tiny bit better.  Love You, God.

Satistifaction

What does it mean to be satisfied?  I certainly don't know.  Yet I know many people who seem to know.  They tell me that they are happy.  They tell me that they are successful.  They tell me that their love life is really good.  I, of course, wonder.  Satisfaction is transient.  It is evasive.  How is it that they capture this essence ?  For sure, how do they seemingly, with their answers, capture satisfaction or happiness forever.  They are Liars.

Quiet Time

There's a lot to be said for solitude.  It gives me the chance to think about things.  All things.  I think about the good, the bad and yes, the ugly.  This way, I allow myself to see points of view that in haste, I may have missed.    Many times, I do say that I wish I could revisit this or that decision.  Fortunately time has moved on and it isn't a darn thing that can be done about what has passed.  The now is where I come back to with a more centered, more focused outlook on my wonderful life.

What's Going On?

What the heck is going on?  My bank had an outage yesterday.  I couldn't pay my bills.  The last thing I need is to be late with the bills I have.  Is there a conspiracy against me?  I don't mean to sound crazy, but what the heck?  I have the money to pay, but the bank shuts down.  Oh well.

There is a change coming.  I can feel it.  I am determined to remain positive.  Things will work out okay.  God is still in charge.  I still have more blessings than anything else.  I am still loved by my family and friends and I still love them.  What more can I ask? 

Hope all of you are having an okay time.

Broke and Sad

What the heck is going on?  The older I get the less money I have.  Why is my social security being taxed?  Wasn't this taxed once?  Maybe I am confused.  My pension does not keep up with the cost of living.  My utilities are steady going up.  My funds are not.  Why can't someone come up with extra money for senior citizens?  I am still paying for able bodied people who have decided to make welfare a way of life.  I know, because there are several bums in my own family.  Shouldn't there be an additional income for those of us seniors who need a little help?  I am really pissed off, but more than that, I'm sad and broke.

Valentine for Nigga

I can't say Nigga' cause it makes you uncomfortable?  It makes you squirm?  Well, white man, this world is very much about discomfort.  Living life is about moving out of our comfort zones.  I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, when I use my word, Nigga.  I am not even thinking of you.  I love the word Nigga, as we Niggas apply it to ourselves.

You see, I've been trying for a while now, to figure out how the use of this word by us Niggas concerns you?  You wouldn't insult another race by, let's say, calling the Italians Dagos, or calling a person of Hispanic heritage a Spic.  Why then do you, of all people,  persist in being able to call members of the black race a Nigga?  African Americans can and do use Nigga amongst ourselves.  God knows, we have earned the right.  It is us and it is our choice.

Many of you still call us niggers whenever you are without a "nigger in sight."  Give me a break.  What sense does this make, Mr. White Man?  What business is it of yours what I say?  I really don't and can't censure what you say.   It's simple.  Just don't say Nigga in front of African Americans.

There are so many endearing and sensitive memories attached to our word, Nigga.  No, you would not understand.  You really can't understand how we, as an oppressed people, took a word meant to humble and humiliate us, and turn it into our version of love, connection,  and yes, sometimes hate, but not so much on our part, as you pretend to think.

You called us niggers from the time we set foot on this American soil.  What's your point now?  Is it to show the world that you can still control our thinking?  The world may succumb to your desires and tricks as you attempt to clean up the shit you have begun.  I won't let you take my language, hence my culture, away from me again.

You, white man, need to understand that African Americans do not want you to say Nigga to us, or on your public media.  Only African Americans can call one another Nigga.  You just need to learn to control your urges to say this word.  You need to really examine your feelings about this word.  Examine your motives for not wanting me,  the "nigger," to use my own connotation of this word in my world.  You need to control your guilt and your jealousies.  You definitely can not control me.

E. Clark
2-19-2011

Sundays

It is so good to chill out on a Sunday morning.  Sundays, for me, are days to unwind and regroup.  I love Sundays because I love me.  God is telling me to do what I want on this day, above all other days.  I am spiritual, but I am not religious.  That is, I really do not like attending church.  I tithe and I love Jesus, but I don't like attending church.  Forgive me these thoughts, but the people who usually people church are not real.  They are usually very phony to the point of pain for me.  After all, they are in church.  Church people seem to be about everything but God.  Sundays are too special to be messed up by starting these days on the wrong foot.  I attend church as much as I can stand it, which is about three or four times a year.  Like I said, I love Sundays too much for spoiling them.  I love God and I know God loves me.  He shows me continuously and that's enough for me.

Mave's Advice

Don't forget to send your relationship problems to Mave at e-clark3@sbcglobal.net.  I will answer.  I promise.

Snow Again

The weather is really the topic of this day.  It has snowed again in my hometown and people seem to be stupefied as to what is really happening.  A steering committee meeting had to be canceled.  People just didn't feel comfortable driving in this weather.  It's cool because the meeting was to take place at my home.  I do still wonder how many would have shown up to try and gather the strength to assist in the planning of a fiftieth class reunion.  We are all so old until this snow might have been, as always, a blessing.  Old people who haven't bothered to stay in touch with one another probably don't want to be in touch.  God bless us all.

What is an english guiena?

What is an english guiena?

Mave's Advice

Remember to send me questions regarding needed advice.  Send the inquiry to e-clark3@sbcglobal.net.


Mave

My Husband May Be Cheating

To Lost in Buffalo,

Do you really have any proof about the unfaithfulness of your spouse?  You may just be imagining his infidelity.  Until you have real proof, don't jeopardize your marriage over a hunch.  If you still have reservations about his behavior after about sixty days, then talk with him about your concerns.  Give him concrete examples of why you feel the way you do.  I know that you have been married only a few months, so give this some time.  I don't think you should consider starting a family, just yet.  I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your husband.

Lazy People

It is hard for me to understand why some people have children when they don't want to take care of them.  Children are blessings.  We should appreciate and take care of them.  I know someone who won't even wash her daughters' hair.  They are unkempt and haven't been taught to groom themselves properly.  These are girls who are about to enter middle school.  Middle school students have many positive attributes, but they can often exhibit rude and obnoxious behavior.  I feel so sorry for these girls because they will encounter many students who will tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Their feelings will continually be hurt, unless they clean up their act.  What I wonder is how can they do this, if they haven't been taught?  Their mom and their dad should be ashamed, but they appear to be unfazed.  The baby girl who is still an infant is experiencing the same lack of care.  Why did they decide to have more children?  I hope these very smart girls can stand these experiences.  I hope their grades don't fall. 

The View vs. Sid the Science Kid

I used to watch The View daily.  Now, thanks to my nineteen month old granddaughter, I find myself  watching Sid the Science Kid and Word World.  I can't say I miss the ladies of The View that much, even though they are entertaining because Sid has them beat.  He gives such relevant and needed information.  Sid answers questions that I haven't even thought about in years.  The wonder of science and the curiosity of kids are a great combination.  Tune in sometime and watch Sid.  He airs on channel nine at the same time that The View airs.  Let me know what you think.

Also, don't forget to send me your questions regarding personal advice.  I've lived a while, so I know I have the answers to some of your life problems.

Mave

Contact

Did I remember to tell you how to reach me?
e-clark3@sbcglobal.net

Anybody Can Counsel

Just finished reading another column in Rolling Stone Magazine.  It was an advice column by Dr. Ozzy.  It's a good column and I find myself chuckling at the advice given by Dr. Ozzy.  Then it came to me that anyone can call himself or herself a doctor.  From henceforth, I am Dr. Mave and I want other bloggers to send me their  advice questions.  I will answer appropriate questions through this blog.

Mave